When One Spouse Wants a Divorce and the Other Doesn’t
It’s not unusual for couples to walk into mediation on very different pages. Sometimes one person has been thinking about divorce for a long time, while the other is still holding onto the hope of saving the marriage. I’ve had couples sit down where one says, “I’m done, I can’t do this anymore,” and the other looks shocked, hurt, and not ready to let go.
This is one of the hardest situations to navigate. Divorce isn’t just about paperwork, it’s about emotions, dreams, and fears colliding. One person may feel relief at the idea of moving forward, while the other feels like the ground has just disappeared beneath their feet.
Where Mediation Fits In
Mediation isn’t about me deciding whether you should or shouldn’t divorce. That’s not my role. Instead, mediation creates a safe space to have the conversations you probably can’t have around the kitchen table without it turning into an argument. My job is to make sure both of you are heard, respected, and given space to share what you’re going through.
Even if you aren’t in agreement about the future of your marriage, there are still very real and practical things to work through. Things like:
Where each of you will live
How parenting responsibilities will look if you have kids
How finances will be handled during this time
How to communicate without causing more hurt
Finding a Way Through
When one partner wants out and the other doesn’t, the process can feel uneven. The one ready for divorce may feel frustrated that things aren’t moving quickly enough, while the other may feel left behind or unheard. In mediation, we slow things down enough so both sides can express their concerns and needs.
Sometimes, that process helps the hesitant partner begin to accept what’s happening. Other times, it gives the spouse who wants divorce a chance to see how important compassion and pacing can be in making the transition easier.
Moving Forward Together—Even if Apart
Mediation can’t erase the pain of being in different places emotionally, but it can help reduce conflict and give you a clearer path forward. Whether you stay together, separate, or simply need tools to talk through the next steps, the goal is the same: respectful conversations that let both voices matter.
Because even if the relationship is ending, the way you handle this transition can shape how the next chapter begins.
