Navigating Divorce When One Partner Isn’t Ready

It’s not uncommon for couples to come into mediation feeling completely out of sync. One person might have been thinking about divorce for months or even years, while the other is just realizing that things might really be ending.

Sometimes I’ll sit down with a couple and one says, “I just can’t do this anymore,” while the other looks shocked, hurt, and unsure what to say. It’s one of the hardest moments to witness and one of the hardest situations to work through.

Divorce isn’t just about signing papers. It’s about two people facing very different emotions at the same time, sadness, fear, relief, anger, confusion. One person might feel ready to move forward, while the other feels like their world just flipped upside down.

Where Mediation Helps

Mediation isn’t about deciding whether you should or shouldn’t get divorced. That’s not my job. My role is to create a calm, neutral space where you can actually talk, something that’s often impossible to do at home without it turning into another argument.

In mediation, both people get a chance to be heard and to share what they’re going through. Even if you aren’t on the same page about your marriage, there are still practical things to sort out, like:

• Where each of you will live

• How parenting time will work if you have kids

• How to handle finances during this time

• How to communicate without adding more hurt

These conversations may not be easy, but they can bring some structure and clarity to a situation that feels overwhelming.

Finding a Way Through

When one spouse is ready to move on and the other isn’t, it can feel like walking at two different speeds. One wants to move forward quickly; the other needs time to catch up emotionally.

In mediation, we slow the process down just enough so both people can talk about what they need. Sometimes, that space helps the more hesitant partner start to accept what’s happening. Other times, it helps the ready-to-leave partner realize that patience and compassion can make the whole transition smoother.

Moving Forward, Together or Apart

Mediation can’t take away the pain of being in different emotional places, but it can help you handle the situation with less conflict and more understanding.

Whether you stay together, separate, or just need tools to talk through next steps, the goal is the same, respectful conversations where both voices matter.

Because even if your relationship is ending, the way you move through this chapter can shape what comes next.